Homosexuality

Many people, men and women, struggle with homosexuality because when they were younger a friend or family member pressured them into the situation. Some may have given into it because they just simply didn't know any better or out of pure curiosity they tried it or unfortunately they were raped or forced into it against their will and because of these situations it was most likely their first sexual experience with another person.

Most people that have had these scenarios happen hide the fact that they struggle with homosexuality and/or homosexual desires because it is embarrassing, because of guilt, or because of what family and friends may think, and it is against everything they were taught or believe. And now they struggle with homosexuality or homosexual desires and want help. For those who struggle with homosexuality it raises questions like, “Who do I turn to?” “Who will understand?” “Will I ever be able to fully escape this?”

This post is for those struggling with homosexuality and looking for some help. I cannot give you all the answers. This is a difficult topic to approach.

Before we go any further, I have one question to ask. Do you really want to change? Do you really want to turn from the homosexuality or homosexual desires? Before anyone can help you, you have to want to change. You HAVE to want not to do this any longer.

1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”

First of all there is a difference in being tempted and losing the battle of the temptation and then sinning and living in sin.

James 1:13-15 “Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am being tempted by God," for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.”

There is no special prayer or magic Bible verse that will change you let alone, over night.

First, of all you have to want to change. You have to want to repent, turn from your sin. Then you have to put your full trust in Christ to change you. 1 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”

Second, after you have put your full trust in Christ and have turned from acting upon your desires the Bible says we should not be unequally yoked or in a relationship with someone who does not believe or that will bring you back into sin. 2 Corinthians 6:14 “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:17-18 “Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty."

MEN - if you are a man that struggles with homosexuality or homosexual desires there are some things that are important to do after you have fully decided to turn from homosexuality and put your full trust in Christ.

First, a prayer that may seem to be the opposite of what you think you should pray. That is pray for men. That's right, pray for Godly men that are warriors of God to be put in your life. You need to find a friend who is a man of God. Not a woman, a straight man of God. This man needs to be grounded and mature in the Word of God and loves the LORD with all his heart, mind, soul, and strength. This man is going to be your accountability partner and hopefully become your best friend.

Then, you will need to tell him what you are struggling with so he knows what to pray for and help you with. While you are finding an accountability partner you will need to drop all friends who are homosexual and surround yourself with other straight Christian men, they do not need to know what you're struggling with but you need to be surrounded by them. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” Proverbs 27:17 “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”

WOMEN - if you are a woman that struggles with homosexuality or homosexual desires there are some things that are important to do after you have fully decided to turn from homosexuality and put your full trust in Christ.

First, a prayer that may seem to be the opposite of what you should pray. That is pray for women. Pray for Godly women that are totally in love with God to be put in your life. You need to find a friend who is a woman of God. Not a man, a straight woman of God. This woman needs to be grounded and mature in the Word of God and loves the LORD with all her heart, mind, soul, and strength. This woman is going to be your accountability partner and hopefully become your best friend. You will need to tell her what you are struggling with so she knows what to pray for and help you with. While you are finding an accountability partner you will need to drop all friends who are homosexual.

Then, surround yourself with other straight Christian women they do not need to know what you're struggling with but you need to be surrounded by them. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” Proverbs 27:17 “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”

Men & Women - Homosexuality is a sin . Romans 1:24-32 and 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God (ESV).” And lusting is the same as adultery Matthew 5:28

I have heard people say that homosexuality is something you are born with and cannot be changed or homosexuality is like having a limb cut off and just because you accept Christ and have become a new creature does not mean you will get a new limb.

Well the difference between the limb being cut off or being born with some defect is, homosexuality is not like getting a limb cut off or being born with something that cannot be changed;

I'm not saying you were not born that way. I am saying that God's word says homosexuality is a SIN and when we put our full trust in Christ we can over come a life style of sin.

2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." Romans 12:1-2 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and  acceptable and perfect."

So, even if we are born gay or straight God's word and Jesus says that homosexuality and ANY KIND of sexuality outside of a heterosexual monogamous marriage is a sin. All lust is sin. Thinking about sex or acting out sex(masturbation) is lust. Matthew 5:28 says that lust is the same as adultery. But God says in His word that we are to be transformed by our minds and that when we are in Christ we have become NEW creatures and that there is NO temptation that can overcome us because Jesus will always provide a way of escape.

"There is nothing outside a person that by going into him can defile him, but the things that come out of a person are what defile him.” And when he had entered the house and left the people, his disciples asked him about the parable. And he said to them, “Then are you also without understanding? Do you not see that whatever goes into a person from outside cannot defile him, since it enters not his heart but his stomach, and is expelled?” (Thus he declared all foods clean.) And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”
(Mark 7:15-23 ESV)

The word that Jesus used "Sexual Immorality" is the Greek word "pornia" it is where we get the word porn from. In Greek it looks like this:  πορνεία. And the definition of it is as follows:
1) illicit sexual intercourse
a) adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals etc.
b) sexual intercourse with close relatives; Lev. 18
c) sexual intercourse with a divorced man or woman; Mk. 10:11,12
2) metaph. the worship of idols
a) of the defilement of idolatry, as incurred by eating the sacrifices offered to idols

The good news is the Bible is clear that if we seek out God and draw near to God He will draw near to us.
"Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you..."(James 4:8 ESV)

"This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:5-9 ESV)